What our patients say

In my experience, living with depression is many things, incredibly difficult to describe but comparable to wearing a weighted vest, a life dampener, distorting my view of myself, of other people and what I could achieve. Along with this was a great deal of mental pain, pain that would often leave me very confused as to the cause and indecisive at the smallest decisions; such as what shirt to wear before work in the morning. Furthermore, my illness brought a strong, aggressive inner dialogue that would ask “what is the point of carrying on if everything I do seems to be so difficult, sad and devoid of any pleasure?”.

From 3 weeks into the treatment and ever since, the relief from my illness that TMS has provided, has come in many different ways, including a complete reversal of the symptoms of depression, a rational clarity, no distressing suicidal thoughts, and in its place, a lightness and joy. As Neal Brennan had said, I felt a heavy metal plate lift from my forehead.
The concrete that I felt had been poured into my brain, solidifying my thoughts and making simple decisions difficult, has gone. I now find decision-making easy, as have tasks that were so difficult before.

Meaning in my life has come back, along with energy and a zest for it. I’ve felt more like myself than ever before. Writing and talking to people has become fluid and connected, like a damn being taken out of a river.
What I’ve experienced is a 180-degree change in how my mind works, comparable to coming out of the dark and into the light. Instead of the inner focus I now see opportunity and a willingness to get on and do things I’ve always wanted to achieve. My thoughts, post-treatment, are predominantly: “Oh I’d love to do that, go there, or meet that person”.

I firmly believe that in possibly the next 10+ years, had I not had TMS, I would be going back to doctors and psychiatrists, getting prescribed higher doses or different combinations of medication without the problem really being addressed. Meanwhile, wasting more NHS time/money, my time and my life.

In the run up to Christmas 2017, my anxiety was at its highest. With the pressure of Christmas added to my own deteriorating mental health, I found myself struggling to leave the house to join in the festivities with my young family. I even missed my daughter’s 10th birthday party because I was so scared of leaving my safe place at home.

After months of anguish I discovered Smart TMS and received treatment with Abie in the Manchester clinic. The first weeks were a struggle and I had to face my fear of travelling alone on a busy train in the height of summer but I got through it and started to notice little improvements in my anxiety and overall mood. By the end of my sessions with Abie, my review revealed that I was no longer clinically depressed and I managed to return to work.

This Christmas, I am finally able to watch my children in their nativities and join in the family festivities, making sure I am a part of the memories that will stick with my children for a lifetime. This is the longest I’ve been off of medication in over 10 years and I can look to 2019 with renewed hope and excitement for the future.

Everybody I have come into contact with throughout my treatment, particularly Abie who has been incredibly kind, friendly, understanding and caring. I am truly so grateful for this and would like to particularly express my thanks to your clinical director who allowed treatment.

The benefits I experienced in the last seven weeks of treatment have allowed me to get back on the right track. Life with has been truly horrific and everything Smart TMS can do to address this with their treatment is fantastic as there are lots and lots of people who are suffering.

It is almost 2 months since I first contacted you and I feel compelled to relate to you our feelings on X’s treatment.

X had his treatment with you soon after our conversation. (you will not necessarily remember us but will have the notes).

I don’t know where to begin to tell you of our thoughts and gratitude to you. Our son is now the son we have had glimpses of throughout his adult life. He stayed with us for 5 days after his treatment before he started his new job and they came again this bank holiday weekend so we have had time together to see the change it has made.

Neither my husband nor I can get over the change in him. For over 25 years we have lived with his constant stress and panic phone calls and now we can’t get our heads round it. He has been married 9 years and his wife has stood a lot of the pressure. It is the best money we have ever, ever spent and we would do it all over again. I want to shout from the rooftops but unless you have lived with this closely no one would understand.

Not only has X got his life back, but so have we all.

Over the years we have been ridiculed by doctors, undergone so many different treatments and tried everything. There has been so much hype by the government on mental health and by charities such as MIND but we could never seem to get any help that worked. We still think we are living in a dream.

Before we embarked on this, we felt you cared. It didn’t seem like X was just another patient. And you have continued to make us feel you are there for us if we should ever need you. From your phone conversation and email, we felt everything was personal to us.

When my marriage broke down 5 years ago I began having panic attacks and was on the edge of a breakdown. Over time, I began drinking heavily and snorting cocaine. I then moved on to smoking crack cocaine. I began to miss days at work and this became a regular pattern. I felt like I didn’t care any more. I had no enthusiasm for anything, for life itself. After being a skilled mechanic for 20 years it was only a matter of time before I lost my job.

Ridiculous as it sounds, I was really happy about this. I now had no job and a one and a half thousand pounds a week crack habit that doesn’t include the drinking.

I had 10 treatments in total. One treatment a day for 5 days and the same again the following week. After the 3rd treatment I had very bad cravings in the evening. If I had been at home I would have definitely gone out for crack. I doubted the treatment was working and my brain was working overtime. What am I going to do? How can I do this to my Mum? Whatever, I wanted a fix. On the 4th day I had cravings again in the evening, but to a lesser extent. I went out for a walk and I stomped around the streets f London. I still would have bought crack if I had the means to get it. After day 5 of the treatment I suddenly found that I had no cravings. I shocked myself when I thought about crack but at the same time realised that I wasn’t bothered about it. I hadn’t felt that for years.

. I filled in a form at the clinic and under the cocaine craving score I circled the number one. In actual fact, on reflection, I think I should have marked zero. As I still thought about it, I felt I should mark one but in reality thinking and craving are two separate things. The craving was zero! This has continued to be the case throughout the rest of the treatment and for the years since my treatment ended – The temptation has been there but I haven’t given in.

A friend of mine once told me that quitting smoking is harder than quitting cocaine.

Sounds ridiculous...I know. But when you think about it addiction to anything changes your brain and it alters how you gain and feel pleasure. Cigarettes are freely available unlike recreational drugs which is why it’s so hard to stop smoking. With cigarettes, you can’t get away from it; it takes much more attention to stop the urges for nicotine than it does for drugs.

Having smoked cigarettes on and off (mostly on) for 25 years it was time to stop.

I decided to try Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS). If TMS can help with cocaine addiction why not try it for nicotine addition.

Different people have a different experience trying to kick any addictive substance.

I have to say that after my first treatment, TMS dissipated all my urges to smoke. It also eliminated all the nervousness and anxiety you get when quitting smoking – you’re irritable, you’re cranky – I don’t feel any of that.

The big problem is the “Habit” You really have to work at that.

The little everyday things you do when you light up. Like having a cup of coffee or sitting at your computer emailing or waiting for the bus that never comes. I didn’t have the “urge” to actually have a cigarette but certain activities remind you to have one. So...I have to say that TMS took away the hard part – the urge –All I have to do now is break the everyday “habit” reminders.

The best part is I have absolutely no anxious or irritable feelings associated with stopping smoking cold turkey. TMS took all that away.

If you want to stop smoking and tried cold turkey or hypnosis and failed, TMS may be the treatment for you to try.